A message to Beyonce:

1. 'girls' don't run the world, you prat. Imagine the shit one of your male contemporaries would be in if he claimed boys had a right to dictate how the world is run based on nothing more that the fact they had a penis. Grow up for Christs sake you egotistic sexist moron.
2. How dare you appear on my tv at half past 6 in the evening giving me the finger (even if it is very slightly pixelated).
3. Your target audience in pre teen and teenage girls, so don't think you're clever or funny releasing a song who's main lyric is 'motherf@cking girls', you irresponsible money hungry little slag.
4. I hate your stupid dancing and your fat thighs. Get on a bike or a treadmill or put some bloody trousers on.
5. As an extension to point #4, whilst I'm wholly in favour of young women taking thier clothes off, there's a time and a place for it, and teatime television isn't that place. If you turned up at my house and did this in front of my nipper I'd give you a good slap.

Why are girls such bitches? Thanks for twisting the knife as you pulled it out of my back, minge.

It gets right on my wick when women, usually in 'omg wtf' style facebook status updates, claim all men are utter bastards and can't be trusted. But I can certainly sympathise.

Yup. Don't sit there crying like a needy little girl, punch her in the throat and bang her best mate. You'll feel much better for it in the long run.

The vast majority of people living in Brighton are from London, so what's the difference?