Steve - Thank you. I have a Mercedes driving sister-in-law that tells me if only I'd 'play the game' I'd be a very wealthy man. Yet here I sit with holes in my socks - I've just noticed. Whoever said honesty's the best policy? Sheesh!

Seriously though, I'm well aware that my opinions and comments don't chime with everyone. And if I find that they don't, then I'll probably press them all the more. There's nothing better than creating a fit of apoplectic righteous indignation in someone. I like to think that those who have true subtlety of mind understand me, I might be maverick - I'm not completely doo-lalli.

Ken I did make allowances. What I couldn't get my head around was that people actually buy cars from 12000 miles away. I'm from Bolton remember, and at five to eleven on a Saturday night the nearest pub seems an Ocean away, and that's only a hundred yards so. What chance Australia?

Musician and unicycle rider.....thats me !!

Drunken "wanna fight"....not me anymore...like you did it a bit in the earlier years.....respectable now (shit I am 47 soon !!!)

Bet you cant resist looking at the ebay posting though !!

And I hope you dont sell,, cause I dont want this thread to ever end !!!

Anyone that rides a unicycle is alright by me. I can juggle, just need a unicycle to complete the picture. Unfortunately that picture is then one of a busker. I think politicians should have to be able to do certain things, to have certain skills before they can be elected. Wouldn't it be nice to see Nick Clegg juggle eggs? Six languages my arse - can he juggle eggs while riding a unicycle? That's what I want to know!

Same for Cameron. I saw in the paper that he has a personal fitness trainer. Well I'd sack him. If I looked as pasty faced as Cameron after the services of a personal trainer then either he's no good or I'm not paying attention. Besides, I'd like a prime minister that knows a thing or two about work. One that once punched a clock card in and out for example.

As for the listing, I bet you I can resit looking at it. I'm sick of looking at it. And if there are any more questions they will go unanswered, or the wife can answer them, because I'm done answering them. "Hi Roy what's the weather gonna' be like next Tuesday"

EBay ad of the year award:

"Here I have a 2CV for sale. If you want it, then f***in' bid on it. If you don't, then f**k-off!. Anyways, why the f**k are you even looking at it if you don't f***in' want it? Eh? Eh?! Eh?!! Don't ask questions - they won't f***in' be answered. In fact, all of you - just f**k-off! For f**k's sakes..."

There you go, that's about the size of it. Steve said it better than me.

I like that ad you did DA but you can tell it's a forgery because you missed out the words 'Nosey Bastards' after the line "why the f**k are you even looking at it if you don't f***in' want it? Eh? Eh?! Eh?!!" I'd never miss an opportunity like that.

It's funny y'know. I spent years trying to figure out people, and when I did I found there's nothing to figure out. Drop all pretence, cut the bullshit, loose the snobbery, ignore old superstitions like religion or political dogma, and we're all pretty much the same. Many posts ago 250Azu I think it was, commented on a person being able to remain immature indefinitely. I don't know if he meant me, because I'm sure I must come across as foolish or immature to some. People seem to think that playing stuff close to their chest is being all 'mature', but here's the thing.

I've examined the world inside out, philosophy, theology, political theory, and human nature. All at first hand, and I've come to the conclusion that it's all nonsense. I ridicule virtually everything because virtually everything is ridiculous. Just look around you! I therefore chose to opt out of the expected conventions or patterns of behaviour, simply because I'm independent minded and won't ever do as I'm told - Not ever.

Therefore I speak as I find, I use my eyes, my brain, and in the words of that old game show I 'say what I see' and no amount of condescension, tut-tutting, or liberal peer-pressure bullying can change that. When I was at school a blackboard was a blackboard, today for me at least, it still is. If someone has found a slight within the term for a school blackboard then I would suggest they get out more, not rename the blackboard. So that's why I speak as I find, and tell un-PC jokes that break those invisible taboo's that society is trying to throw ropes around me with.

speaking of which:

Jesus was making his usual rounds in Heaven when he noticed a little white-haired old man sitting in a corner looking very disconsolate. He was saddened to see the old man looking so miserable so he stopped to talk to him.

“Old man,” said Jesus gently, “This is Heaven. The sun is shining, you have all you could want here and you’re supposed to be blissfully happy! What’s wrong?”

“Well,” said the old man, “You see, on earth I was a carpenter, and lost my only, dearly beloved son at an early age. And here in Heaven I was hoping more than anything to find him.”

Tears sprang from Jesus’ eyes. “FATHER!” he cried.

The old man jumped to his feet, bursting into tears, and sobbed, “PINOCCHIO!”

Old Nail you should have been a teacher (perhaps you were/are), the kids would have loved you. They see through all the crap and if they had an art teacher like you, who was bit of a maverik you would have had "Respect innit"! Subseqently the only behaviour problems you would have would have been from the rest of the staff to try and get shot of you.

Any chance of you putting yourself up for prime minister?

Steve

I don't think I'd make a good teacher under today's constraints, I'm definitely not a tow the party line man. Perhaps the only behavioural problems they would encounter would be mine. I was a personal trainer and gym instructor for several years though, I enjoyed that. It's nice to help people grow in stature as well as character.

If I was prime minister I'd go through the country like a dose of salts, all this walking on eggshells would be over for a start. I believe the mayor of Doncaster did a similar thing, his first decree after becoming mayor was that his own mayoral pay be cut from 66k a year to 30k. Out went political correctness, back in came old fashioned respect. There's a role model for us. We don't have many folks like that in high office though, for as Bertrand Russell said:

"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure, and the intelligent full of doubt."

On a happier note I have been in touch with Wolfgang, the German bloke that bid on my car. I apologised for pre-judging him, and he in turn told me of some horror stories that he has suffered at the hands of British e-bayers. Several thousand euro's of missing money he paid for bogus cars, wasted journeys costing 1400 euro for cars that were not as described etc etc. Ebay is handy for finding obsolete bits, but very shaky for buying or selling vehicles it appears.

I really didn't want to comment on the sale of this vehicle but having arrived home from an early morning buying trip, I checked out the current position and at last this car is reaching a sensible value. My own estimation is that this car is worth in the region of £7,500 to £10,000. I am not a dealer and have no experience of selling these cars apart from watching fleabay where you all have seen considerable increases in prices this year. The only reasons why i feel i can add to the debate is that for the last year I have been looking to buy a 2cv so have seen a good few cars for sale, and also i work as a shopkeeper buying and selling everything but specialising in 30s 40s 50s stage and music hall scenery props puppets.blah blah blah. The only value that counts is how much someone is prepared to pay for something..thats the value. So it looks like we are getting somewhere sensible with the true value of this car. And not only are they buying the car they are buying a magnificent blog where they can read and see (and almost touch) the restoration and verify just what a good resto this is.
I have a feeling in me bones that this car is going to sell tonight and i really hope it reaches it's deserved value.

And what then? Well rumour has it that That ON is going to throw a big do for Lollitta and me and all interested members of the forum at the Bolton Hilton.

And what then? Is ON going to keep entertaining us? I think so. Anyway good luck to you ...........you deserve it

Why thank you Hardy.

I've no idea what price the car is selling for because as I said yesterday I'm done looking, and I'm done answering daft questions. The reserve is met, and after 8 o'clock tonight I will be an ex- 2cv owner, an associate I2F-er, a 2cv-er - without portfolio.

Besides, someone has suggested that I run for prime minister. After giving it serious consideration I've decided that that's do-able. I'm already picking my cabinet. Clarkson will obviously have to be minister for transport, Gordon Ramsay minister for food, and just to show there are no hard feelings I'll even give Gordon Brown a job - Governor of the Falklands. Unless you know anyplace else which is further away and equally desolate.

Speaking of the Falklands, I will decree that there will be no more wars over places the ordinary man can't place a finger on when looking at a map. Why we fought for the Falklands is a complete mystery, have you seen it? It's like the moon with grass. Same goes for Afghanistan. Gordon Brown told us that our troops have to die there indefinitely to keep Britain safe from terrorists - yet they all live in Luton. I always meant to ask him what it is that Switzerland are doing to keep themselves safe from terrorists...and can't we just do the same thing instead?

Finally, I'm afraid there can be no party at the Bolton Hilton. Not because I don't like parties, but because like most things in Bolton it's been turned into a Mosque and they don't like parties. I'm now returning to my makeshift cabinet room where I will figure out who will become home secretary now that Bernard Manning has died, and what to do with the proceeds of tonight's sale.

O-N, I don't think it'd jeopardise your sale in any way to take a peek...

In fact, I think I'd encourage you to do so, not because it appears to be going well, but so that you can weed out any obviously-weird bidders if there are any. You are in the position to look at each bidder's feedback and might see something you don't like; a quick email should then elicit how genuine their bid is.

Very likely that most - probably all - bidders are genuine, so it would be terrible if it were scuppered at this late stage by an almighty twit coming along having just come home from the evening service...