Partially the reason the programme co-ordinator politely asked if Teaching was for me. I refused to set homeework for a mixed year 1 and 2 class (4-6yr olds).

They almost failed my teaching practice

i loved school, water fights, and such

i couldnt possibly list all the stuff we got up to in school, but some of it was beyond redicoulous

we where just so smart, we would hardly ever get caught doing anything (some of which could send us to prison, well i didnt get involved in that stuff by my mates did.... i stayed clear of that stuff..) and we where smarter than the teachers, we knew there routines, down to the second, day in day out it was the same, and we had various lookouts we could trust in the school to ring us if things needed to be passed on,

our school was like a prison, every entrance guarded, high fences (this didnt stop me climbing over them or over roofs or whatever it took, cctv, the usual crap. patrols, now getting out of school was so easy, despite the high security.
all you had to do, was work out the teachers routines, figure out a system of getting in and out, we used to go straight in and straight out of the entrances to school, under there noses, never once got detected.
so what intelligance did we have?
we knew roughly when the teachers would drive out of school at lunchtime, we knew what time to the minute the teachers would "shift change" so to speak on the patrols and guarding the gates, thus learning the 2 minute gap where bits where un guarded,

one particular incident, we missed the 2 minute window. so we where all outside the school gates, trying to get back in, the deputy head on patrol, so we where pretty buggered.
now this is where you need people to trust the right side of the fence.. we had someone on the playground on the phone to us, telling us when the deputy heads back was turned, and as it was turned, one of us would run around the wall and sit against it, thus we where in the grounds. not breaking any rules now this was probably the most hilarious time ever, as the deputy head obviously spotted someone randomly apear sitting against this wall. then he would turn his back, and another would apear, and so on. there was about 15 of us in total in the end sitting against this wall. now he couldnt question us, as he hadnt seen us commit an offence, but it was blatent what we where up to. i also remeber one lunch we all sat in a skip in the playground, and the teachers never realised!!

fast thinking is also the key, friend of mine was in the corner having a cig, his cover was being on the phone.. although he wasnt, the art teacher came storming across shouting "give me your phone" (no phones in school, rule of thumb) and by which time he had discarded his ciggy, continued his "phone call"... so she comes marching over, i stop her inher tracks about 5 feet away, "but miss, his mum is really ill on hospital" she questions my friend as to the truth of this, a brief pause later, "yes miss, shes not well" art teacher tells him to keep it subtle and finish his conversation
school's are far to easy to get away witht hings imo, we out smarted every teacher there, 2 of them used to be prison wardens too!!
we used to also have a register taken in the last lesson, if you bunked it you where obviously marked absent, and this was the register that had to be done by law, like the morning one. and after bunking about 40 of them, never once was detected. they where so dumb. youd get about a week later, "where where you in lesson 5 on the....th, all you had to say was late, or you wherent marked in or something, and they would believe you!!!!
id love to write a book on my expereinces at school, and how we approached each obsticle that came heading our way, school was very interesting, a huge learining curve, in the life department. i could go on forever about the different storys and mis haps we got ourselves into, ocne got locked in a astro turf to stop us escaping!!!
i miss school alot,

parden? am i missing something

Old nail > James Wallace?

I absolutely loathed school, not because I couldn't do it but because it was dull and uninspiring. I could just about handle school in Holland, school in the UK was the pits.

I hated morning assembly, bastards made you sing hymns and preached at you. It turned me off religion for life, so I guess they taught me well. Any organisation that needs to invoke the law to indoctrinate children is up to no good.

I detested the mindless regimenting and the slow pace of learning was painful. I'm always amazed that people remember school fondly, I cannot remember the names of my teachers and can remember maybe the names of 3 people I was at school with. I just blanked it out over the years.

I didn't do badly though, kept my head down, didn't get into trouble and passed all the exams.

i only enjoyed the messing about i hated the educational side of it though.
we where forced to study R.E, it was like being in church all the time

part of the catch of getting into the school was to go to church, which it seemed half of them didnt so why they turned down people who did ??

the only lesson i enjoyed the wood work. i wanted to do metal work but they dont teach it in school these days, which is a shame, but wood work was just about good enough to keep me quiet.
i was very popular with the head of department though, well put it bluntly, he was a c*** (sin bin for me but thats the only appropiate word) all the teachers hated him, because of his viscious wild mood swings, but once, i got my own back,
a friend had decided to print his dads 40th party invitations off in school on his printer, got impatient, left, and came back later to find they had gone. the head of department the bastard had them. so we had to plot to steal them back, thus saving his arse from a major kicking from his old man.

we in the end had to break into his office, wow we got some interegrating, but managed to keep a straight face and they never punished us

it was tradition in year 11 in the last few weeks before study leave to steal the teachers clocks, no idea why, but it was. now the teachers knew our year was a wild one, so they warned us, any clock stealing (and being caught) then the police would be informed and the matter taken further (yes how sad are our school!!)

didnt stop us though did it!! there was a huge clock in the hall, and no one had managed to nick it since the school had opened. can you geuss what we where trying??
a friend managed to get the clock down to then be caught red handed with it in his hands!!!!

a friend of mine who was in our group of mischief, is now working for the council doing a campaign on drugs and alcahol. he finds it very awkward when he is asked to go to our old school to do a lecture on drugs and alcahol, as most of the teachers we used to pelt 2 p coins at and terrorise are still there!!!
poor git!

ahah

old nail, not trying to piss on your fire by hogging the posts

nor by mentioning id like to write a book about my expierences would that mean any rivalry for the waterstones top seller,

nor did isteal the idea from you either

You're not hogging the posts James, as they're not mine to take, this forum consists of all of us. Plus, I like to see the standard of literacy improving in your posts, your making great progress from when you first came on here. And anyway, I see it this way.



I can't write much about my own school days actually, as I wasn't there much, although I do remember that the teachers of the early 70's were of an entirely different species than they are today. There were quite a few interesting characters around back then, such notions as political correctness not having been forced upon their conciousness.

Boys played football and girls played netball, simple. We couldn't understand how some American men played netball and the nation accepted it as a sport. The lessons were also gender orientated, so for example there were no girls in woodwork, or metalwork, and no boys in domestic science. The option was there I suppose, but no one ever dreamt of taking it. Actually there was one young fella' who did, by the name of Malcolm Fitzgerald.

Malcolm had opted to do domestic science in his first year at school while the rest of us naturally did metalwork. He caused quite a stir at the time I remember for being the only boy in the history of the school ever to have done so. Our metalwork lessons were taken by a tall, thin, and rather bohemian looking chap known to us as 'Harry Jew'. Not that he was Jewish, he just hoarded free stuff, he was a man that would reclaim anything - as long as it that was given to him.

Harry Taylor was way ahead of his time in that respect, a true pioneer of green energy. He once had us build a wind turbine from scrap metal as a project, he then stretched a cable from the turbine all the way to the headmasters office , where it terminated with a 40 watt bulb. Now, he told us, every time the wind blew that bulb in the headmasters office would glow, prompting a daily reminder of those hard working lads in metalwork!

Mr. Taylor was also handy with the profanities. He seemed to have mastered a style of language that incorporated them into words as if they had always been there, 'abso-fuc*in-lutely', this, allied to the way he chain smoked through his lessons meant that he soon became our hero.

After the first term Malcolm Fitzgerald, the boy who had opted for Domestic science over metalwork, had decided that having made his point he would now like to change and do metalwork with the rest of us. I still vividly remember that first day back at school as Mr Taylor glanced around the room to see who was present. (he didn't care for such formalities as reading out a register) His eyes rested on Fitzgerald;

"Who the fu*k are you?" he asked, casually.

"Fitzgerald Sir"

"Are you a new boy?" Harry Jew enquired, narrowing his eyes and tilting his head in anticipation of an answer.

"No Sir, I did Domestic science for the first year but I want to do come and metalwork now" came the reply.

"Domestic science!...Cookery? What are you some kind of poofter? Well may I suggest that you fuc* off back there rather sharp-ish, "

That was in the second year of school, and Malcolm Fitzgerald remained the only boy in domestic science for another four years.

(edited twice for typing too fast!)

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