From cool pics thread: "I never really thought that Orange cars could looked good, but this one seems to."

It strikes me as tho' the 2CV is one of these very rare cars that looks good (or at least 'ok') in any colour ('cept metallics). I remember thinking the same thing about early 911s (I know, I know...) after seeing pics of them in seriously weird shades - pastels, purples, you name it - and realising that it simply got away with it all.

Ok, some colours obviously look a lot better than others on the 2CV - even allowing for that thing called 'taste' - but has anyone seen a colour that absolutely doesn't work on one? I didn't think so...

(Even that sh*t-brown one waaaay back in the cool pics thread looks good. Yes it does... )

Tnute ther us do and our forebears mix things such as much as jsmrawsllscr! btwin wrds letres, iders und the livin und dead wan we gut rvr exitd easy an tip!

Have a good Sahmain!

((im)possibly silent H, M and invisible W to those speaking post Celtic and other post OED langausquigey type things!)

Sorry on my phone then, you try typing with buttons 1/4 the size of my pinky, and typong with my thumb! Its so easy to mess up!!

I don't want to turn this conversation into an 'all about me' deal, so I'll say this about it and then move on ok? I've done a great deal of other stuff in my life too, so I don't want to appear one dimensional by constantly referring to this period.

In answer to your question, yes mate you invariably do, but the 'proper' people don't like to work with them. That job relies more than anything on your alertness, and of your situational awareness, and some guy collecting phone numbers from impressed young totty is not switched on.

The doormans job is to see trouble coming before it actually happens, and resolve it. If you end up getting physical you have already failed.


I'd say that it is just the opposite. Geoff has tried to portray the work exactly as it is, and has succeeded perfectly. He has tried to show that we all feel fear, we all have feelings, and despite this we are able to conquer those things to face difficult or even life threatening situations. The gallows humour is also to be found in the military, the Police or any emergency services, it's a coping mechanism. He has also attempted to recreate how it feels to leave home for work as usual never knowing if you will return, or how the actions of a stranger can change the course of your whole life in an instant. That's the message he is trying to send - take your work seriously, it's a serious business!

I have seen no more accurate portrayal of the atmosphere, and of the job than was shown in that short film. However, there is far more to learn and to know than just the violence, which is the part the public associate with the role. I would go as far as to say that the public are less safe now than ever, as the 2004 SIA (security industries association) act took away the license, (and livelihood) from many of the best doormen because they had previous criminal conviction, myself included, thus clearing the way for the poseurs and phone number gatherers.

I began ‘dabbling’ in door security work back in the 1980’s when the type of guys usually employed were ‘old school’, which meant that they were big, crude, and hard as nails, which also meant as a punter, you either behaved yourself or you got hurt.

These nineteen stone monsters also revelled in a little sadism, and working alongside them taught me two important things, the first was that I would never be as big (or as stupid) as they were, so I needed to use a smarter approach, and the second was that I didn’t like their attitude toward the ordinary decent folks who were just out for a quiet drink.

I wanted to get beyond that ‘big man’ attitude, I wanted to find the science behind the job, to seek out a formula that would work without all the macho bluster and bullying.

In each area of activity there are always men who become living legends. It might have been George Best in football, Churchill in wartime, or Jimmi Hendrix on guitar, the point I’m making is that there’s always someone that emerges head and shoulders above the rest, and such people usually display those qualities that we all aspire to emulate. In the world of Doormen, two such men were Peter Consterdine and Geoff Thompson.

Peter and Geoff were both time served ‘bouncers’ back in the 1970’s and 80’s, they had since gone on to form the British Combat Association, and to teach their hard won knowledge to those that wished to up their game. Neither man is big, each of them standing around six foot or less and weighing in at around fourteen stone, and yet they had achieved so much, and I wanted to know how.

At the time Peter Consterdine was running a professional bodyguard outfit, supplying armed security for high powered business execs throughout the world, he personally guaranteed his men by the simple expedient of hand picking and training them himself. I applied for his training school, and after various trial weekends where he sorted out the wheat from the chaff so to speak, I was lucky enough to become enrolled as a trainee.

There followed several gruelling and intensive training courses covering everything needed to work for him, including tactical driving, covert and anti surveillance techniques, the setting up and detection of IED’s and booby traps, firearms training, and of course armed and unarmed combat. During these training periods which were residential, we crammed in some intensive work which began at 6:00am in the gym and didn’t finish until 10:30pm in the classrooms, with anything else in between.

I learned a lot. I also gained a qualification in close protection and a glowing personal reference from Peter himself which I still have. When I later returned to door work I had a whole new array of skills, but more importantly, I had a different mental attitude and philosophy.

What I was trying to figure out was why folks did the things they did, but as I learned about the various philosophers and their opinions, and the many different political theories and viewpoints I became aware that It still wasn’t providing the answers I wanted. I discovered that Philosophy was simply a method of saying “Humanity is like this, and so we should take him and do that”. What I wanted was the answer to the first question, of why humanity was like it was in the first place, what made it tick?

So following the philosophy, I enrolled again to do psychology, something that lasted just one year before once again I found it unsatisfactory. Psychology was closer, but again it centred on things like the basic human needs as defined by Maslow’s pyramid. I had a feeling that nowhere in Maslow’s pyramid would there be a part dealing with why a drunken man wants to hit me with a bottle, so once again I was frustrated.

In the end I found the secret. I was working with a guy who liked to do magic tricks to impress the girls. He was very good too, close up card tricks, linking two rubber bands together, seeming impossible things that both entertained and got him plenty of female attention. What I noticed was that by distracting the eye with a very subtle ploy magic is able to fool the onlooker, and the better the 'magician' is at it, the less the punter sees it coming.

This tactic works wonders for doormen that have learned and understood it, it marks the professional from the thug. As an extension of this I began to study mentalism, which is the stuff that Darren Brown does. Part of the practice of mentalism is so called cold reading, which is the skill of reading a person at a glance, picking up what is going through his mind by his body language, and pre-empting his next move. As I said if as a doorman it gets physical, you have already missed a trick.

When Sherlock Holmes amazes Watson by saying to a client something like "I see you have arrived by train, from an address in the country no doubt, Hampshire possibly..." Those facts are simply deduced by using cold reading skills.




The mistake most folk make is to think that people like Geoff Thompson, or myself (who has no right to be mentioned in the same breath as Geoff) are out to glorify violence. In fact it's the opposite. We have both 'been there and done it', but now try to make people aware of the distinctly unglamorous nature of the work.

It's tough, it's thankless, and at times it's totally surreal in it's outcome. Watch that film again, if you think it's romanticising in any way then see it through my eyes, see the loss, the stupidity, the callousness and the violence, and ask yourself this, "How does this exist in a civilised society?

That's what the film is about. Now bugger off, if you want to know any more you'll have to buy the book.

It is Jesus birthday today

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"That's what the film is about. Now bugger off, if you want to know any more you'll have to buy the book. "

Set a copy aside

By questioning whether the short film might be slightly 'romanticised', I certainly wasn't negating the violence or the fear or the risk. I'm just questioning whether the choice of doorman characters (none of the knuckle-head variety) coupled with the 'careful' choice of black doorman killed at the end (as if to bluntly show how the strong camaraderie transcends race) was just a teeny bit contrived? I'm questioning, that's all.

I don't doubt at all that it's an accurate portrayal; I just wonder if it's accurate for all doormen? I suspect not, so therefore it might be contrived to suit a 'type'?

Race doesn't matter, you watch each others backs no matter who you are. You also trust each other totally with your safety. The film's possibly not accurate for all doormen, I'm thinking post 2004 doormen especially, many of whom are ill suited to the role. And many lack bottle.

I've seen some new guys take off like Linford Christie when it got sticky, never to be seen again. Today they give badges out to anyone who wants one, which has lead to the type of doormen that will turn a blind eye to a problem if the source of that problem looks like he can handle himself.

Like the man says in the film, the irony is that the punters that have a strong left leaning philosophy, possibly gained from a college students union, or those in soft jobs like clerical or office work are typically the ones that would get eaten alive by the nastier element that exists within our society, and yet they are usually the very ones to look down upon at the doormen that protect them, and make no bones about it, that's what they're there for.

I mentioned earlier that sometimes life imitates art, or is it that art imitates life?

If you question the choice of characters in that film, if you think that perhaps they are slightly romanticised, then consider this. I was imprisoned in 1998 for a crime of violence, section 18 in legal parlance, GBH to you and me.

The film was made in 2002. The character played perfectly by Ray Winstone in this precautionary 'fictional' tale (which is shown to new doormen wannabees) could be based on a very dear friend of mine named Colin, it looks exactly like him. I have no photo of Colin, but there is an uncanny resemblance trust me.

The other character working with him known as 'Pete' is shown here.



And below is a photo of yours truly, who used to work the clubs with Colin. Hmmm... betcha can't guess my first name!



Draw your own conclusions. So can we now start talking about something else?

Now.... Did I ever tell you about the time I....

Old nail, that pic of you looks remarkebly like my old neighbour, pete posselswait (not surw how to spell), however, he played the priest in the modern romeo and juliet!!!!
Anyway, your stories are inspirational, PLEASE write a book, can you do an audio tape? I dont read books!!

Well you should start!

What do you think I am your bleedin' mother? For tonight's bedtime story little jimmy, I'll tell you about.....

Is that the same Pete Postlethwaite that played King Lear recently? I like him. I remember his performance in the film 'Brassed off', fantastic job, and the film contained one of my favourite compositions, Rodrigo's Concierto de Aranjuez.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8uoY9e5YVY

P.S. Should have gone to specsavers.

Nice strumpet player.


Anyways, Old Nail - I do get it. I understand what you are saying.

& happy to move on.

Still missing your tales, tho'.